Crunchtime

So we are officially at t - 7 days now. i expect complete panic to take over by the end of this coming weekend, as i have yet to make a dent in the get-ready-to-go-overseas-for-4-months process. i haven't even unpacked from dc yet...needless to say i would laugh in your face if you asked me how packing for europe was going. i also don't have a phone yet (slight issue) nor have i figured out how i am actually going to pay for things over there (bigger issue)

regardless, i am still registering all the goodbyes i had this weekend :(
which seems to be leading me much more towards the denial stage of leaving in a week, rather than the embracing stage where i can actually start packing.. and by leading i mean i've been stuck in this stage.. oh pretty much since april when i got accepted to this program. although 5 months ago it seemed a lot more manageable to pack one backpack for an entire semester in a country that is freezing. oh yeah sure, its not like IM the one person on earth who needs 50 sweaters in the winter to pile on top of each other. great.

but on the less stressed note of things, i am really excited about my trip (without having moved out of denial that im actually going). i have always wanted to do a backpacking trip like this in italy, as it is the motherland.. but also the one place in the world i have ever been to that felt more like home than where i actually live. and even so without family or friends or familiar surroundings or nostalgia. i can't even really explain it, it just felt like i was meant to be there, in that place at that time, and it didn't matter that the reality of it was ridiculous. i wish i could bring the people i love with me (although i have my camilley!!) because i just want everyone to experience it the way i do. it is really comforting to know that even while i will be 3,000 miles away from home, i can be in a place that gives me such joy just in being there. i am looking forward to this very much, and i suspect that if i can just focus in crunchtime i will be able to get past the stress and move into the thick of the excitement for the journey!! now if i could just get some sleep... tomorrow's task is fighting verizon for a phone.